cockroach races

Suck my cockroach.

That is just one of the delightful names of a ‘racing’ cockroach at the 28th annual Australia day Cockroach Races held in Brisbane, Queensland. I just got back from the prestigious event where I was ‘participating’ in the cocky races. Well, when I say ‘participating’ I didn’t actually race, but my stable of ‘cockroaches’ did. Colin and Kevin were up against some stiff competition, though, including Soft Cocky, I’ve got a Big Cockroach, Irish Cock,  Priscilla ‘Queen Of The Drains’, Osama Bin Liner, Ita Buttroach and just about every cock reference you could ever think of. The venue for the Cocky Races is the Story Bridge Hotel, which packed in 2,000 Cocky fans (or more like beer fans actually) to watch fourteen races, live music, topless girls getting ‘dunked’ and the crowning of the prestigious ‘Miss Cocky’ competition.

How the cocky race works is quite simple: Forty roaches (which have numbers painted on their backs) are dumped from a bucket into the centre of a ring and the first one to cross the line out of the ring – and over the audience’s feet – is the winner.

Colin and Kevin didn’t even place. Even after I tried to knock out (or more like knock off) his fellow racers with my Lure and Kill. And to top it off… poor Colin got squished. Okay, it may have been me who squished him.

Cockroach races
I’m ready for action…

Cockroach races

… and they’re racing.

Cockroach races
Kevin didn’t even cross the line.

Cockroach races

The boys.

Cockroach races

The girls.

Cockroach races

And the winner is…

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