A Christmas tipple.

It’s that time of year when most people (well, most Australians at least) give the bottle a bit of a nudge. Admittedly, I give it a good go at Christmas parties, but at least I stick to beer and wine. On my last trip to Vietnam I got quite tipsy on rice wine and in the morning I had stomach cramps to go along with my hangover-cum-monstrous-headache. My stomach cramps may have had something to do with the fact that we (about twenty of us) were all drinking the sickly sweet rice wine from a large wooden bucket. Out of shared straws. While dancing around it. It was up there with the worst alcoholic drink I’ve ever had. Then again, if you want to fire up your Christmas party it gets you drunk very quickly. And, if you want some other novelty drinks for your Christmas party here are my Top 5 worst alcoholic drinks of all time:

Rice Wine in a Bucket (Vietnam)
Yes, it didn’t taste the best, but it was the ‘bits’ (no idea and too scared to ask) floating on the top that made my stomach curdle.
Bucket of Wine Vietnam style

Kumis (Mongolia)
Kumis is the tipple of choice in Mongolia. It’s fermented mare’s milk and it tastes like sour milk that has gone off. The horse hairs floating in are rather disconcerting, too.
Kumis in Mongolia

Mezcal Tequila (Mexico)
What initially began as a marketing gimmick in the 1940s the ‘worm’ is actually the larval form of the moth Hypopta agavis that lives on the agave plant. And yes, I ate the worm. Why mot? You’re only young (and stupid) once.
Mezcal worm

Snake Wine (Vietnam)
This alcoholic drink involves the infusion of a whole snake in alcohol. It didn’t taste that bad it was just the snake staring at me when it was poured out of the bottle. Plus, I thought it might help – it is considered to possess cures for hair loss. You can also get scorpion wine and lizard wine.
Snake Wine

Black Death (Iceland)
Brennivín is Iceland’s signature tipple. It is made from fermented potato pulp, and flavoured with caraway seeds. That doesn’t sound that bad, but it tastes like burnt wine – which is not surprising because the word brennivín literally translates into English as ‘burning wine’.
Black Death

But none of the above have anything on the WORST EVER alcoholic drinks. Try serving these up to your Christmas guests:

Sourtoe Cocktail  (Alaska)
This drink is made with an actual human toe… yes a human toe! The toes are real human appendages that have been dried and preserved in salt for use in Sourtoe Cocktails. If you are looking for fame, you can become a member of the ‘Sourtoe Cocktail Club’ by making sure the toe touches your lips at some point while you’re drinking- otherwise it doesn’t count!
sourtoe cocktail

Seagull Wine (somewhere way up North)
Miles ahead of all the other weird and unwonderful drinks in terms of sheer nastiness is seagull wine. Made by the Inuits, it stands as a testament to the ideology of getting drunk no matter what the cost. It’s easy to make at home for your Christmas party. First find a seagull, alive or dead. If it’s alive, kill it. Put it in a bottle. Fill the bottle with water. Leave it in direct sunlight to ferment of a goodly while and, bingo, you’ve got yourself some seagull wine. Now all you have to do is travel to the very depths of despair. It’ll still taste terrible, but at least you won’t care.

Cheers, everyone!

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