Karaoke World Tour – Russia.

It’s Chapter Nine of Brian’s Karaoke World Tour and this time I’m singing with the Russian Mafia. I was in Moscow after completing the Trans Mongolian train journey for my book Planes, Trains & Elephants. It was on one of my usual aimless wanderings through the streets when I spotted a very upmarket ‘Karaoke Bar’ with two very large, very menacing and very well dressed bouncers standing at the doorway. This was some exclusive karaoke bar, but that didn’t stop me going in. Even when the bouncer told me that there was a $US25 cover charge. I just told him that I didn’t need to pay a ‘cover charge’ because I was only going in to ‘find’ my friend and that I would be out in a few minutes.

The small very plush bar was dimly lit and the clientele was made up of dodgy-looking men in shiny suits and glamorous girls with boob jobs. I did my very best to look like I was supposed to be there and I didn’t even flinch when the barman asked for ten dollars for a small beer. I sang a song (sitting at the bar) and a man in a grey suit with two girls draped around him came up to me and asked what was I doing in his bar. Then he put a gun to my head. Sorry, got carried away there. He actually just told me that he thought I was a good singer. I did get another song in, too, before the bouncer came up to me an hour after I’d been in the bar and asked where my friend was. ‘I can’t find him,’ I said. The bouncer then politely asked me to leave. Well, after he’d beaten me up and put a gun to my head.

Next time on Brian’ s Karaoke World Tour: Thailand